


The Lesser Boner-Parts: Porkin'

by patorikkudozzu



Category: History Podcast, The Lesser Bonapartes
Genre: Deepthroating, History Podcast RPF, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-15
Updated: 2015-11-15
Packaged: 2018-05-01 17:56:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5215217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/patorikkudozzu/pseuds/patorikkudozzu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Our favorite Boners over at the history podcast The Lesser Bonapartes try to record a Bacon-themed episode, but get distracted.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Lesser Boner-Parts: Porkin'

"Hello, and welcome to the Lesser Bonapartes! The history podcast where this week we're definitely getting cancer."

"Haha, that's right. I don't know if you've heard, but according to the WHO, BACON causes cancer now. Who knew!"

"I'd say it was a pretty fair bet that bacon causes cancer. It's too good!"

"Ha, yeah, something that good has to be bad for you."

"Yeah. Anyway, we are the Lesser Bonapartes, I'm Glen, and with me as always is Daniel."

"Hey hey."

"And this is a relatively special episode. You might notice the lack of awkward pauses. This is because we aren't video conferencing this one."

"That's right. We are both _physically_  in studio! And by studio, I mean Glen's kitchen."

"Yeah, and you might also notice that you can't hear the sound of dishes being washed in the background. That's because my wife is out at the moment. Anyway, as you may have gathered from the intro, this episode is centered around bacon, but not the bacon you're thinking of."

"That's right Glen. Unless you happen to have a hardon for enlightenment era philosophers, this figure probably didn't pop in your head when we said bacon."

"Careful Dan. We don't want to alienate that oh so important fanbase."

"Oh, I can hear the shuffling of elaborate neck ruffles already."

"Haha. Neck ruffles. So anyway, today we're talking about proto-scientist Francis Bacon. Despite my opening bit, no, Mr. Bacon has nothing to do with that oh so delicious and yet oh so deadly cured meat. But damnit, it's hard to find an opening joke that is both pertinent and topical!"

"Oh. So if we aren't talking about the food bacon, what am I supposed to do with this plate of delicious bacon I prepared?"

"Dan! You can't use ignorance as an excuse now. You know the risk!"

"You know me. I like to live dangerously."

"Yeah, Dan here is a regular Evil Knievel, if Evil Knievel was a librarian and WAY nerdier."

"Ha. You don't know the half of it..."

Daniel struggles to keep his composure. He feels that this moment itself is dangerous, maybe even more so than the sinfully delicious taste of bacon. He looks at the beautifully smooth and pale skin of his friend. His skin is such a pure alabaster, it seems to glow with an inner white light. His delicate and pink lips look so inviting. Glen's large eyes innocently look into his own. Glen can't fathom the hidden lust that Daniel has for him. Daniel has often times come in late to work at the library, having spent all night unable to fall asleep. They're both married, and Daniel loves his wife, but he can't stop images of Glen and his tall, lithe form, from running through his head. Daniel knows bitterly that their love can never be, that his feelings are unrequited. But is it really his fault for falling in love with Glen? He's like a real Tolkien elf! Daniel thinks that Glen looks much more like descriptions of Legolas than that poser Orlando Bloom ever did. With chagrin, Daniel notes that he is personally more akin to Gimli than anyone else, all ruddy skin, rough hands, and wiry beard; of course Glen wouldn't feel the same way for him. Still, thoughts of Glen keep him restive and awake when he should be asleep. Thoughts of that pale and supple body have given Daniel many a Hussite night.

"Dan? Daniel? Earth to Daniel!"

Daniel realizes with a start that his eyes had drifted back toward Glen's face and he had been lost in thought. He blushes and begins to sweat, quickly averting his eyes and coughing.

"Sorry Glen, I was zoned out for a second there."

"What, still thinking about bacon?"

"Yeah...something like that."

"That's OK, I'll fix it in post." Glen leans into the mike and stage whispers " _I won't fix it in post_." Daniel chuckles at that.

"To be fair Glen, I don't think you've _ever_  fixed anything in post." Glen grimaces.

"Yeah, just to let our listeners know, if you have any issues with the sound quality or my editing, you can email me at The Lesser Bonapartes at BLOW ME dot com."

"Ooh, Glen, so salty."

"Hey, that's me. The true Boners out there appreciate and expect some audio flubs now and again."

Daniel laughs heartily at his dear friends antics. Already he is starting to feel more at ease. Glen just knows how to make him lose all his worries. Without considering what he's doing, he reaches out and cups Glen's face. With his palm he feels Glen's skin, so incredibly smooth. and his fingers rest in Glen's silky hair. Glen turns, smiling, and looks at Daniel.

"Haha, what is it Dan?"

Daniel doesn't hear him. He's so absorbed in the feeling of his friend's face. He's just touching him with his palm and fingertips, and yet Daniel feels like the feeling will drive him mad. He brings his thumb up and touches one of Glen's pillowy soft lips, reveling in the sensation.  
"Uhhh, Daniel? What are you do-!"

Daniel can't contain himself any longer. He savagely crushes his lips to Glen's. He grips the back of Glen's head with one hand to hold him in place. Glen opens his mouth in shock, which allows Daniel the entry he desires. In thrusts Daniel's tongue, and he kisses Glen deeply. Glen tries to stand and step back, but Daniel clings to him along the way. All Glen accomplishes is to send them stumbling back, knocking over chairs, mikes, ripping headphones off their heads. They end up with Glenn on his back and Daniel straddling his waist. Daniel continues his assault on Glen's mouth, thrusting his tongue into Glen's warm and wet cave. He forces Glen to yield before the urgency of his desire and the strength of his body. Daniel's cock is painfully engorged in his pants. He lets out a moan into Glen's mouth as he grinds his erect member into Glen's firm yet yielding body.

Daniel finally pulls back, sitting back on Glen's abdomen, letting them both gasp for air. Glen places his hands on Daniel's chest, but he doesn't shove him off. Glen's face is flushed, and unshed tears brim in his eyes, but he exerts only gentle pressure as he pushes against Daniel, and his eyes are wanton. Daniel feels a hardness against his rear-end, and as he pushes against it he hears Glen gasp in response. Glen has a momentary look of shock as his eyes widen and his jaw slackens.

Daniel realizes with mingled shock and joy that Glen wants this! Glen wants HIM! Glen might push against him as if he wants to stop, but it's just a show. Glen wants him to keep pushing the limits farther and farther. Knowing this, Daniel is ready to take what he wants.

Daniel locks eyes with Glen, and as he unzips his pants, releasing his hardened cock, Glen's eyes widen in shock. Daniel enjoys the further reddening and look of fear in his friend's eyes. He moves forward, bringing his impressive member close to Glen's face. Glen scoots back, trying halfheartedly to escape. Glen allows him to, but then surprisingly quickly for his squat frame (dwarves are very dangerous over short distances) he forcefully takes Glen and brings him to his knees. Trying not to appear to awkward in the process, Daniel then takes off his pants and underwear, leaving his socks and on (business socks). Daniel positions himself standing above Glen, his throbbing member bumping against his face. Daniel smirks at him.

"Suck it" he says in a commanding voice.

When Glen hesitates, Daniel assumes he still wants him to take the lead. So Daniel takes the sides of Glen's face in his meaty hands and guides him toward his cock, pressing the head against Glen's lips.

"Open sesame" Daniel says mockingly.

Glen, apparently consenting to this, opens his mouth slightly. Daniel takes this as a signal to go ahead, and so he thrusts his cock into Glen's mouth. He takes care not to choke his dear friend on his thick organ, just pushing his cock until he feels the back of his friend's mouth. Glen's eyes widen as his lips are stretched around the thick girth of Daniel's meatstick.

"Now suck." Daniel tries to stifle his arousal as he gives this order to Glen in his most authoritative voice.

Glenn hesitates, then gently starts to apply suction to the object violating his mouth. As Glen's cheeks hollow, Daniel stifles a groan of pleasure. He has to focus to keep himself from cumming so soon into the fellatio. He never knew a blowjob could feel this good. As Glen starts to move his head up and down along the length of Daniel's cock (unbidden, Daniel notices), Daniel has to wonder if Glen has ever sucked dick before. That can't be true, he's married for christ's sake! However, how could Glen be this good without any practice? Daniel realizes that Glen must just be a natural cocksucker. Did he really have this talent all along?

"Ohhh yeah. Who knew you could suck cock this good? I should have done this a long time ago."

Tears fall from Glen's eyes as he looks up at Daniel, shame evident in his face, and he stops his ministrations.

"Ah-ah-ah. Did I say you could stop?" Daniel asks.

Glen, perhaps feeling a little obstinate, refuses to continue sucking. He looks up into Dan's eyes defiantly.

"What, did that upset you? Don't be mad. You're a natural cocksucker! My wife is nowhere near as good as you."

If Glen is cheered by these words, he doesn't show it. Daniel is worried that he's pushed Glen a little too far by mocking him. However, there's still that look of lust in his dear friend's eyes. Daniel is a little surprised. He didn't know that Glen was such a masochist. Then again, Daniel didn't know that he was such a sadist. When he imagined their trysts together, it was all gentle touches and soft sighs. Oh well, Daniel thinks. If this is what he wants, this what he wants. Daniel lets out a sigh.

"Looks like I'll have to do the heavy lifting here." Daniel again places his hands on either side of Glen's head. "Let's see how much talent you really have as a fuckhole."

Daniel slowly pushes his cock deeper into Glen's throat. Glen's eyes widen as his throat is penetrated. He makes a gagging sound, trying to cough around the dick that's now slowly filling it. Daniel is concerned for his friend, but he knows Glen isn't really fighting against it. It's more like he's trying his best to adjust to this new object being forced into him. So Daniel continues to slowly force his cock down Glen's throat, until finally he's buried in it to the hilt. Glen's nose is deep in the black and wiry bush, and his eyes are watering as he tries to keep from gagging. Daniel pulls his hips back until Glen is able to take a gasping breath around his cock. Then, just as soon as he pulls out of his throat, he thrusts himself back in. The tight feeling of Glen's throat spasming around is dick is incredible, like nothing he had ever felt. His wife had never been able to make him feel this way before. Again, Daniel pulls back enough for Glen to take some gasping breaths. Daniel waits until Glen's breathing evens.

"OK Glen. Take a deep breath now. I don't think I'll be able to last much longer. I'll try to be quick, so bear with me." Glen almost imperceptibly nods, then takes a deep breath. Immediately Daniel thrusts deeply into Glen's esophagus. He then pulls back and thrusts in again, slowly at first, then quickly picking up speed. As he fucks Glen's throat in earnest, he let's out an involuntary grunt at the incredible warmth and tightness of his friend's body. Daniel and Glen lock eyes. As he feels himself approaching his limit, Daniel picks up his pace. He thinks to himself that he doesn't want to choke Glen, but soon all thought leaves him as he thrusts himself as deep as he can, releasing his cum straight down Glen's throat. Glen by this point is struggling to push himself away and get a breath of air, but Daniel's powerful grasp holds him in place. Daniel's cock pulses several times, shooting more semen with every pulse.

Finally Daniel pulls his cock out of Glen's mouth, giving him a reprieve from the brutal throatfucking and letting him take a gulping breath of air.

Daniel stumbles back and falls on his butt with an ignominious thump, seemingly losing all strength after cumming. Both breathing heavy, Daniel and Glen lock eyes as the silence stretches on between them.

Daniel doesn't know what he could say to Glen in this moment. During the act, it had seemed that Glen wanted him to push things further, but what if he had just been fooling himself? What if Glen hates him now? What will become of the Lesser Bonapartes!? Surprisingly, Glen is the first to speak, his voice coming out a bit scratchy.

"Well. I think I will be fixing that part in post."

Daniel, a little astounded at his friends ability to crack wise after such a tense moment, can't help but laugh. He reaches out for Glen, who hesitantly takes the proffered hand in his own, lacing their fingers together.

Daniel thinks to himself that there may be many more Hussite nights in the future, but he won't be spending any more of them alone.


End file.
